


How Infinite is Space?

by coldplayisawesome



Series: ALIENSSSSSS [1]
Category: Coldplay - Fandom
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe, M/M, Outer Space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-23
Updated: 2010-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:28:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldplayisawesome/pseuds/coldplayisawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This ending doesn't exist if you intend to read the sequel. :P</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. The Story

"Do you know what's exceedingly dull?"

"What?"

"This."

Chris and Jonny were standing on the corner outside of their apartment, waiting for the bus to come. This was the third time in a row this week that the bus was late. The other two days weren't so bad, and the bus had only been a few minutes late, but today the bus was a good forty minutes late. Chris had almost considered walking to the office, but he decided against it when he realised they lived well over ten miles away from their workplace.

"Yeah, well, if you hadn't gone and crashed the car into a pole, we wouldn't be standing here." Jonny was still quite angry with Chris for smashing the lovely car he had received from his mom as a birthday present. He was especially upset when he found out he would have to take the bus to work for a month while it was being fixed, as he had hated taking the bus ever since his grandmother had decided to become a bus driver. Of course, with Jonny's luck, his grandmother ended up driving the very same bus that took them to work everyday.

"I said I was sorry! And I'm telling you, that pole was not there the last time I drove onto that sidewalk." Neither of the two men were sure whether or not Chris was joking in that last sentence, and as a result there was an awkward silence that lasted a few seconds. Then the bus finally arrived.

Chris and Jonny walked on to the bus to find that it was packed with people. There weren't any seats available for them to share, so they had to split up. Jonny sat next to a blond girl that he found attractive, which made him quite happy and made him almost forget his hatred for the bus that his grandmother drove. Chris, on the other hand, was forced to sit next to a man who was constantly itching his head, dandruff falling everywhere, and smelled like he didn't shower with water, but instead chose to shower with pickle juice.

When they finally arrived at the tall brick building they had come to know and love, Jonny nearly forgot to get off the bus due to the fact that his eyes were practically glued to the blond girl, and Chris had almost passed out from the horrible odor the man next to him was producing. Luckily, they both were conscious enough to see that they needed to leave the bus.

As they walked up to the glass doors in the front of the building, everything suddenly grew dark. They might have just passed it off as clouds covering the sun, but it was so dark that the only thing either one of them could think to do was to look up. That's when they saw it- the giant spaceship. Both Chris and Jonny, as well as several other pedestrians on the street, stared up at the massive flying saucer that had been large enough to block out the sunlight.

"Holy..."

"...shit."

 

-

 

"What the hell is going on out here? Why aren't you two inside?" Chris and Jonny's supervisor had exited the building to find the pair staring up at the sky, looking completely awestruck.

"Because there's a spaceship up there," Jonny replied, pointing up towards the spacecraft.

"Excuse me? Are you mental?"

"No. Look up." The supervisor looked up to find that Jonny was not mental at all, and that there was indeed a spaceship in the sky.

"Oh. Well, then I guess you're not." Looking back quickly at the two men he said, "Right, then. You lot need to get inside now. There's work to be done."

Chris slowly looked at his supervisor and started to reluctantly walk towards the building. At that very same moment, a giant box fell from the spaceship and landed a foot away from where Jonny was standing. The box, which was almost the same size as Jonny, was blue and had the words FOR CHRIS written on it.

"Hey, mate, it's for you."

"Seriously?" Chris asked in disbelief. He turned around to look at the box, and then added, "No way, man. There's got to be hundreds of people called Chris in this town alone. It can't be for me."

"Sure it can. It landed right next to where you were standing before."

"And that makes it mine then?"

"Yes. We should open it up."

"Are you sure you're not mental?" Jonny gave Chris an 'I'm-not-amused' look. "Come on, we have no idea what's in there."

"That's exactly why we should open it, to see what's in there!"

"But what if it's some weird alien thing that blows us up? Then we'll be dead."

"Yeah, but at least we'll have found out what's inside. Besides, aren't you curious to see why it's for you?"

"I told you before, there's no way it's for me." Jonny opened his mouth to say something, but Chris quickly cut him off. "I don't care if it's got my name on it, and I don't care if it landed where I was. It's not mine."

"Fine then. Let's just get to work."

Jonny and Chris walked into the tall brick building like they did every other day. Except today, obviously, was different. Instead of working for three hours then taking an hour break for lunch, they worked for three hours then took a never-ending lunch break.

For lunch, Chris and Jonny went down to a restaurant across the street from where they worked. They chose a table next to the window that looked out into the street. While they were ordering ("I think I'll have the cheeseburger." "Again? My God, Chris, are you seriously that boring?" "Yes, yes I am.") another box fell, this time on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant. The box was almost identical to the first one, which was still standing in the exact spot it had landed, except that this time the letters spelling FOR CHRIS were larger and more urgent-looking.

"No way," said Chris, who had just given his menu to the waitress.

"What?"

"There's another box." Jonny looked away from the waitress and out the window. As he saw the words written on the box, a grin formed on his face.

"Now do you believe it's for you?" he asked in an I-told-you-so way.

"Oh, shut up. I guess we should go look at it then, eh?"

"Yeah, but can we eat first? I'm starving." After their nice lunch, Chris and Jonny walked out onto the sidewalk to examine the box and its contents. Chris took a good half-hour to stare at the letters and yell at Jonny, who continuously tried to open the box.

"Can't we open it yet?"

"No, not yet. I have to make sure that it wont explode."

"How are you gonna do that just by looking at the letters?"

"I don't know." Chris stared at the box for another minute, then said, "Fine, fine. We'll open it." Jonny's face lit up and he ran towards the box like it was his birthday present. When he finally got it open, he was shocked to see what was inside. There it was, a baby alien.

"Well, I didn't see that coming."

 

-

 

"Am I still dreaming? 'Cause if I am that might somewhat explain this." Chris stared at the baby alien, who was purple and wrapped in a navy blue blanket that appeared to be large enough to cover the whole box. The purple baby alien was what Chris estimated to be the size of a shoe box, and it looked at him with a grin on its face, just as clueless as Chris and Jonny were.

"Well, I think it's cute," Jonny said, breaking the silence that had lasted for a few minutes as the boys were taking in the shock of having received a baby alien. "I mean, look at it, smiling like that. It reminds me of that one time when you-"

"WHOA, Jonny. Let's not bring that up again."

"But it was only-"

"I don't care what 'it was only'! I don't need to be reminded of my foolish youth."

"It was last month, Chris."

"Yeah, and I've matured a lot since then." Chris really hadn't matured a lot since then, but he also didn't want to be reminded of his stupid mistake to publicly announce that he loved watching "The Hills". Sighing, he continued, "What are we gonna do with this thing?"

"We? It's for you, not me, mate."

"Yeah, but you're the one who wanted me to open the damn thing!"

"OK, OK. You can chill out, Chris. It really is an adorable... alien.. baby... thing, so I'll help you. Have you got... an inflatable mattress?"

"No."

"Then we have a problem."

"Well, of course we have a problem, Jonny. There's an alien baby addressed to me that was sent by a spaceship. A SPACESHIP, Jon! Not a delivery truck. A spaceship. That's a big problem."

"I don't think it's such a big problem. In fact, that's pretty normal where I come from. And what's all this baby business anyway?" Chris and Jonny stared at the crate in disbelief. There was absolutely no way that such a small being could produce such a massive, deep voice, especially if that being was perceived to be a baby.

"WHAT THE HEIDI??" Chris shouted, forgetting all about his vow to never reference "The Hills" again. He soon realised what he had said, but felt that given the circumstances he could let it slide. Jonny also caught Chris' outburst, decided he couldn't just let it slide, and then looked at him and laughed histerically.

"I'm sixty-four years old, you know. At least, in your years I am." The purple alien stood up and walked out of the crate, keeping the blanket on as he did so. Chris still stared at the being in total awe, but Jonny had redirected his laughing at the alien. "That's twice your age. I'm not a baby."

"Well, you sure look like one!" Not once in his life had Jonny ever thought about what he was saying until it was too late, and that day was no exception. After his clever remark, the alien lifted Jonny up ten feet into the air using only two of his small fingers. Frightened, Jonny cried, "OK, OK! You can put me down now!"

"Yes, I can. But I don't think I will." Still holding Jonny up, the alien turned to Chris and said, "I'm Retaw O. Ssalg. I've been sent here to take you, Chris. We need your help."

"Help? What help could I possibly be?" Chris was utterly surprised that anything would ever require his assistance. He had never been any help to anyone, and he didn't believe that he had any special talents. He couldn't help but think that maybe the crate was addressed to someone else, and perhaps the space creatures had shipped it to the wrong Chris.

"You will save our world, Chris Martin."

"Oh." It was definitely the right Chris. "In that case then, when will I be back? 'Cause my lunch break's almost over."

 

-

 

"Chris, don't touch that! You don't know what it does." Chris had reached out and touched one of the buttons on the wall of the room he and Jonny were in. It was a small room, not much bigger than Chris' cubicle at the office, and it was nearly empty except for a wall filled with buttons of various colors and shapes and a plastic chair in the corner.

"Relax, mate. These guys are intelligent, intergalactic beings. Do you think they'd put us in here and not tell us not to touch anything if we weren't allowed to touch things?"

Jonny stared at Chris for a moment before replying, "I'm not quite sure what you just said, but I'm gonna say yes." Chris laughed, and Jonny continued, "Although that could be a bad idea, seeing as the last time I said yes, I ended up on a spaceship. With you. And we're still here!" Chris turned around to face Jonny. As he opened his mouth to give a snarky reply, the door burst open and one of the workers on the spaceship entered the room.

"We're ready for you, Mr. Martin."

"Please, call me Chris."

"Uh, we're ready for you, Ch-Chr-Chri... Mr. Martin. Sorry." Chris smiled and muttered, "It's OK."

The alien gave a nervous chuckle and continued, "If you'll follow me, the lab is this way." The alien worker led Chris out of the tiny button-filled room, down the hallway, into another hallway, onto an elevator, up a few floors, out of the elevator into yet another hallway, and finally into a room with a door that was labeled "Lab".

Chris was surprised when he walked in the doorway to find that, like the other room, it was also almost completely empty. He had watched hundreds of sci-fi movies and shows, and he expected there to be weird foreign substances in jars and containers filled with people hanging upside-down. Yet, this room was nothing like that; the only weird thing Chris could see was Retaw.

"Hello, Chris Martin. Welcome to the lab." Retaw smiled at Chris and pulled him into the room. "I know it doesn't look like there's much in here, but our technology is far more advanced than yours. No offense."

"Uh, none taken."

"That's good. We need to run a few tests in order to make sure that you are well enough to help us, and also for fun."

"What? For fun?" Chris' eyes widened with horror. He feared that maybe not all sci-fi was really fiction. Could these aliens just want him to play with, like a doll? Was that all he was worth to them?

Retaw saw Chris' expression and told him reassuringly, "Oh, I didn't mean like that. You see, we have a test where you must, uh... what's the word? Um... ah, yes! Dance." Chris' face lit up when he heard this. He thought that his dancing was his best quality, and was quite proud of his variety of moves. Retaw continued, laughing, "Most of the earthlings we've tested look ridiculous dancing."

"Oh, well, not me. I'm great at it."

"Yeah, we've seen your internet videos," Retaw laughed, and Chris' smile almost immediately faded.

"No, I am great at it. Just ask Jonny, he'll vouch for me!"

"I don't think that's necessary. Now if you'll please step over here, Chris Martin, and remove your pants, we can begin the testing."

"Wha- uh... my trousers?"

"Yes, your 'trousers'. How else are we supposed to do the testing?"

"With my trousers on would be preferable."

"Oh, Chris Martin, you are truly amusing." Retaw smiled, and Chris realised that he was going to have to take off his pants whether or not he wanted to. Chris walked over to the spot Retaw had gestured to and began to undo the button on his fly.

"Can I at least keep my shirt on? I haven't worked out in ages."

 

-

 

"Are we almost done with the testing? My arms are starting to hurt!" Chris was standing on a platform in the middle of the lab with both his arms raised up in the air. Retaw was standing on the other side of the glass panel between them, reading the text that had appeared on the panel.

"If you'd like, you may lower your arms now, but you still need to remain standing." Chris lowered his arms, and as soon as he did more text appeared on the glass. Retaw took what looked like Saran wrap and pressed it up against the panel. When he removed the sheet the text came with it.

"Whoa, man, that's freaking awesome! How'd you do that?" Retaw laughed at Chris' amazement as he put the wrap down on a table that was next to him.

"I informed you before, Chris Martin. Our technology is far more advanced. And actually, that is outdated technology." He pressed a button that was on the wall next to the table, and a doorway appeared on the glass panel. "We're done with the testing now. You may exit the testing area."

Chris walked off of the platform and back to the corner of the lab where his pants were. He put his trousers back on, then turned and walked over to Retaw.

"So, how'd I do, Retaw?"

"We are still processing the information, Chris Martin. If you would kindly wait out in the hallway, the results should be ready in a few minutes."

"Oh, ok. Will do." Chris walked out of the lab and into the hallway. He sat down opposite the lab door and waited. After about five minutes, he stood up again and began to pace the floor. He even started to sing.

"Oh, god. Are you singing again? Hasn't anyone told you that you do that too much?" Chris looked up to see Jonny walking towards him.

"Jonny! Wait, why are you here?"

"Eh, I got bored. Those aliens didn't seem to care that I left. How'd the testing thing go?"

"I don't know yet. Retaw said the results would be done in a few minutes, but it's been at least half an hour." As soon as the last word exited Chris' mouth, the door opened and Retaw popped his head out.

"OK, you can come back in now. You can come too, Jonny."

"So, how'd I do, Retaw?" Chris asked as he and Jonny walked back into the lab.

"All the tests went very well, Chris Martin. But..." Retaw had a confused look on his face. "What are these "Hills"? They appear to control most of your thoughts."

"Oh. That's, uh... that's nothing, really. Forget about it." A smile began to form on Jonny's face.

"Surely, they must be something, Chris Martin. Fifty-eight percent of your thoughts have to do with them."

"Just, please, stop. Please. Just leave it alone."

"Is it... um," Retaw lowered his voice, "...pornography?"

"No, it's not."

"Because if it is, then that's perfectly normal. In fact-"

"NO, IT IS NOT FUCKING PORNOGRAPHY!! IT'S A TEEN DRAMA TELEVISION SERIES IN AMERICA AND I HAPPEN TO LOVE IT TO PIECES!! Damn it!" Jonny burst out laughing, and Chris turned to him with a frightfully angry expression.

"Sorry, mate, but The Hills? That's freaking hilarious!"

"No, it's not."

"Um, there's something else consuming your mind as well. The other forty-two percent. But maybe I shouldn't discuss it here in front of the... present company." Retaw nodded to Jonny, who suddenly looked very confused.

"What? Me?"

"No, Jon, the door. The door can't hear it."

"Piss off, Chris. Why can't I hear it? What's wrong with me?"

"I'm not sure that Chris Martin would like for me to reveal such embarrassing, personal information." A sudden wave of fear came over Chris. He knew exactly what Retaw was talking about, and he sure didn't want Jonny to find out.

"More embarrassing than The Hills?"

"Yes. Please don't tell him."

"Right. I'm very sorry about before, Chris Martin. I didn't mean to upset you. All the tests went very well, and you're perfect for our mission."

"Eh, it's all good. What's the mission?"

"Save our world."

"Oh. Well, that should be fun."

 

-

 

"Please tell me, Chris? Please?" Jonny and Chris were sitting at a table in the spaceship's empty cafeteria. On the table in between them was a tray that held two sandwiches and a bag of potato chips. Chris stared at the bag for a few moments, then reached in and pulled out a chip.

"I can't." Chris held the chip between his fingers, staring at it intently before placing it down on the table. "Sorry."

"Yes, you can! We're best friends, remember? Don't you remember? Best friends- we do everything together. Even board spaceships together! There's no secrets between us, right?" Chris moved his gaze away from the uneaten sandwich on his side of the tray, but he still avoided looking at Jonny. "Right?"

"You know you're my best friend, J. But I... I just can't tell you."

"Why not? I tell you everything, Chris. Everything."

"It's just... too... complicated."

"No way, nothing's too complicated for me. Please, Chris? You know I won't tell anyone. Can I at least guess?"

"I'd rather you didn't, if that's all right."

"Oh, yeah. OK. Sorry." Jonny put his head down and sadly twirled his thumbs. As he did so, Chris finally looked up at him. He absolutely hated to see Jonny upset more than anything, but if he knew Chris' secret then everything they shared together could be ruined. Of course, there was also the possibility of everything turning out just fine or even better, but Chris was too frightened by the thought of losing his best friend to even consider telling him.

"Jonny...?" Jonny looked up again and locked his brilliantly green eyes with Chris' stunning blue ones. For a second Chris had the sudden urge to tell Jonny everything he'd ever thought about anything, but it soon faded. "I will tell you someday. You know that, don't you? Just not now. But someday."

"It's fine. You tell me when you want to." Jonny gave Chris an adorable smile, and suddenly Chris felt a thousand times better. "Hey, are you gonna eat or what?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Chris picked up his sandwich and took a huge bite out of it.

"You forgot?" Jonny asked, laughing. "How do you forget about food?"

"It happens."

"Hmm, not to me."

"Yeah, well..."

"Hey!" Jonny exclaimed, playfully slapping Chris' arm. Suddenly, there was a crash in the back of the cafeteria. Jonny and Chris both turned to see what had made the noise, but by the time they could spot anything the lights were off. "Whoa, what the hell's going on here?"

"Um... the lights went out."

"That can't be good, right? I mean, lights going out on a spaceship... and that's not including that crash. What was that?"

"Dunno. Think it had to do with the lights?"

"Could be. Maybe we should go check it out." Jonny and Chris stood up and began to walk over to the spot where they believed the crash had occurred. They weren't exactly sure it was the correct spot, though, on account of the lights being off. When they reached the spot, Chris knelt to the ground and started looking on the floor to the best of his abilities. Jonny was about to do the same when the lights came back on.

"Oh, good! That helps quite a lot." Chris stood back up, but it wasn't long before he was on the floor again.

"Oh my God, Chris!" Jonny sat down and tried to pick his friend up, but Chris was completely unconscious... and someone was wrapping their arms around Jonny's neck.

"Hey! Hey! What're you... doing... get off me..." Jonny collapsed, his body falling on top of Chris'.

"Looks like my work here's done. Hmm, that sandwich over there looked quite tasty..."

 

-

 

"Shit. What... ugh. Jonny, can you please wake up now?... Shit." Chris was walking back and forth in front of Jonny's unconcious body. They were both in what looked like a jail cell, except much nicer and more hi-tech. The walls were a pretty shade of light blue, and there were a few chairs up against one of the walls. Chris sat down in one of them and rested his head in his hands. "This is just great."

"Oh yeah, it's the best."

"Jonny!" Chris ran over to his friend on the floor, wrapping his arms around him. "You're OK! You're fine! You're awake! Jonny... YOU'RE OK!!"

"Yeah, I'm fantastic except for the fact that I have a 32-year-old sweaty British guy crushing my lungs."

"Oh, sorry." Chris pulled away from Jonny.

"And I have no idea where I am..."

"We're in a cell. That's about all I know."

"How long have we been in here for?"

"Who knows? You could have had a sweaty 42-year-old British guy crushing your lungs for all I know."

"Chris, I don't think it's been ten years."

"Well, yeah, but you don't know."

"You'd think the sweating would stop since we're in space..."

"Unless you're not in space anymore." Chris and Jonny looked up at the door of the cell to see a green blob of alien about the size of an oven.

"We're not in space anymore?" Jonny stood up and walked over to the bars of the cell. "Where are we?"

"Can't tell you. But I can tell you this- it's time for you boys to get brainwashed."

"BRAINWASHED?!?!"

"Yes. Come on now, both of you." The giant blob opened the door of the cell, and Jonny walked through. Chris, however, was still on the floor.

"Come on, Chris. We have to go."

"I don't want to be brainwashed."

"Well, neither do I, but I mean, this guy is freaking scary looking. We have to at least go with him."

"Fine. But if I get brainwashed I'm gonna hit you." Chris exited the cell and walked with Jonny and the blob down the hallway. After what seemed like ten minutes of walking, the three stopped outside of a door labeled, "BRAINWASH".

"Get in there." The blob opened the door and pushed Chris and Jonny inside. The room was almost completely dark, except for a small bit of light emitting from a television screen. "Now sit down."

"But there aren't any chairs!"

"So, what do you think this is? A luxury hotel? You can sit down on the floor, it's not gonna kill you." Jonny sat down first, not wanting to piss off the scary blob of alien. Chris stood for a few seconds longer, then reluctantly joined Jonny on the floor. "Oh, man, I forgot the thing... you two wait right here. I'll be back." The blob of alien left Jonny and Chris alone in the room, closing the door behind him.

"Jonny, I'm so scared. Hold me?"

"Haha, that was a great episode."

"... What?" Chris had absolutely no idea what Jonny was talking about. Had the alien monsters already gotten to him?

"Remember, we were watching House the other day. The thing with Cameron, and House was being the patient's dad. It was a good episode."

"Oh, yeah. Right, yeah, right. That's what I was talking about." Chris stared off into an empty corner of the room, hoping that Jonny wasn't beginning to catch on. He really needed to keep his mouth shut every now and then.

"I wonder if they'd let us watch House instead of getting brainwashed?" Jonny asked, breaking the awkward silence that had lasted for several minutes.

"I kind of doubt it."

"Still, it'd be nice, though. Maybe if they give us a last request?"

"Yeah. Watch House before becoming a mindless alien slave. Sounds great to me."

 

-

 

"Wait... wait, why the hell are we still here? The alien blob's been gone for ten minutes now!" Chris and Jonny were still sitting on the floor of the brainwash room, dumbly waiting for their host to return. "Let's make a run for it."

"I don't know, Chris. We don't even know where we are right now. How are we supposed to know where to run to?"

"Still got that GPS?"

"Chris, that's not gonna work here!"

"It will if we're on Earth."

"Oh... good point. I'll check." Jonny reached in his pocket to grab the GPS. "Oh, yeah, that's right. I DON'T CARRY A FREAKING GPS IN MY POCKET."

"Well, you should. It would really come in handy in situations like this."

"We're not escaping."

"Why not? Come on, it can't be that hard to run out of a... wherever-we-are place."

"I'm not doing it."

"Fine, then I'll just... I'll just go by myself. How about that?" Chris stood up and waited a few seconds, expecting Jonny to follow him. He then walked to the door and opened it, hoping he would follow him if he was actually leaving. Chris turned around after he exited the room and saw that Jonny had stayed behind. With little time to spare before the blob returned, Chris bolted down the corridor as fast as he could.

It absolutely killed Chris to leave Jonny behind, but it wasn't his fault Jonny was so stubborn. Plus, Jonny probably would have done the same thing Chris had- he didn't really care about Chris. Not like Chris cared about him. But then... why was he running away from him?

"What am I doing?" Chris stopped dead in his tracks. He had to go back to Jonny. If anything happened to him, Chris wouldn't be able to live with himself. "God, you are such an idiot, Chris." Suddenly, Chris could hear footsteps getting louder and louder as someone ran towards him. He didn't dare to turn around. Instead, he started running again.

Down the hallway, around the corner, down another hallway, around another corner. Chris realised after a few minutes that he probably wasn't going to get out of wherever he was. He was doomed to either be found and brainwashed, or to run forever. He didn't think he could handle either, but running forever sounded a lot more pleasant. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly possible. After rounding what seemed like eighty corners, Chris tripped over a wire that was on the ground and fell, nearly breaking his wrist. He struggled to get up, but it was useless. The footsteps were still getting louder and louder, and soon Chris would be caught. He'd probably never even see Jonny again.

Poor Jonny, all alone in that room. The alien blob might have already gotten to him by that point. Chris imagined Jonny sitting on the floor of the dark room, staring mindlessly at the television screen, slowly losing his mind. He imagined the alien blob watching from the side, laughing as Chris' best friend fell under the hypnotic spell of the evil creatures that had captured them. Then he imagined the worst thing that could ever happen... the huge group of alien blobs killi-

"MARTIN! Jesus, you run fast!" Chris was jerked back to reality. He looked to his right to see that the footsteps had not come from any of the monsters, but from Jonny. He also became very aware of the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "Are you OK?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." Chris wiped off his cheeks and stood up. He looked directly into Jonny's brilliantly green eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For leaving you behind."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm just too stubborn, you know. But I felt really bad about letting you go off by yourself."

"Really?" Jonny nodded, and Chris smiled. "From now on, we're sticking together no matter what, 'k?"

"Yeah. Now let's get out of here." Jonny and Chris walked down the end of the hallway, turned around the corner and began walking down the next hallway. Halfway down the corridor, Chris noticed something that looked familiar- an elevator. It looked just like the elevator that the alien had taken him up when he went to the lab.

"Jonny... are we still on the spaceship?"

"What?"

"I've seen that elevator before."

"It's an elevator. Don't they all look the same?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Whatever, let's just keep going." As they neared the end of the hallway, Chris looked to his left at the door that was there. "Lab".

"Jonny, look at the door. We're still on the spaceship! What the hell?!?!"

 

-

 

"Oh, Chris Martin. You really do amuse me, do you know that? You really do." Retaw was sitting in an office chair that was about ten times too big for him behind a desk that was slightly more fitting for his size. Opposite him sat Jonny and Chris, both completely stunned at the fact that they had been on the spaceship the whole time.

"So what you're saying is you think it's funny that we both were under the impression that we were going to die?" Chris was starting to hate Retaw a little bit, which he thought was a shame because Retaw had seemed like such a nice guy.

"No, no, just funny that it took you two so long to realize you were not going to die. I'm sorry if that makes me appear to be stuck-up. Perhaps it's that you aren't as familiar with this spaceship as I am. Sorry."

"It's OK, I guess."

"What is more important is how you two handled yourselves. I am proud to say, Chris Martin, that you did very well with your attempt to escape. It wouldn't have worked if you were in real danger, but at least you gave it a shot. However, Jonathan, I'm afraid that your obedience could pose a problem if you are ever on your own."

"Hey, I didn't want to get shot or something!"

"It's all right. The two of you together seem to make a fine team. With your stubbornness and Chris Martin's desire to run away, which I believe represents a certain emotional problem he is running away from," Retaw looked at Chris and raised his eyebrows at him, then looked back at Jonny and continued, "you should be just fine."

"Good. Hey, Retaw, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, Jonathan?"

"Why'd you have to have some guy strangle me? It wasn't very pleasant."

"Ah, sorry about that. But, uh... authenticity."

"Oh. Well I'm getting kinda tired. I think I'm just gonna go to bed now," Jonny said, stretching.

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired myself. See ya later, Retaw."

"Actually, Chris Martin, I need to have a chat with you. Jonathan, you may leave now. Good night."

"Yeah, good night. Later, mate," Jonny said to Chris as he walked past him and left the room.

"What is it? Is there a problem with something?"

"Um, maybe."

"Oh, God, what? Am I dying? Are you dying? Is... is Jonny dying? Oh, God!"

"No one is dying to my knowledge. But your Jonathan friend... he's a nice guy, yes?"

"Yeah. He's great." Chris could feel himself beginning to blush. "He's my best friend, you know. Dunno what I'd do without him."

"Mmm. You really like him, I can see. I'm a bit confused, though. I thought that you humans need a male and a female in order to procreate?"

"What?" Chris was suddenly getting very uncomfortable. "Yeah, but... it's.. uh... you see... well, when... I mean... ugh."

"Oh, am I making you uncomfortable? I'm sorry. I'll just have to study more of the subject on my own."

"It might be your best bet."

"Well, in any case, you should... what's the phrase? 'Go for it'?"

"No way, I can't do that! That's impossible!"

"Is it, Chris Martin? Is it really?" Chris sat silently for a few seconds, thinking. It wouldn't be impossible, per se, but it would certainly be very hard to do. What if it didn't work out?

"But what if it doesn't work out?"

"That's the risk that you take. Time is so short, no?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe you should sleep on it. You might have a different perspective in the morning, who knows?" Retaw winked at Chris.

"OK. Thanks, Retaw. See you tomorrow." Chris stood up and walked towards the door.

"Remember, Chris Martin," Retaw said as Chris opened the door. "The hollowest of halos is no halo at all." Chris stood in front of the open door for a few seconds with a confused look on his face. "Go on now."

As he walked into the room he and Jonny shared, Chris couldn't help but to think about what would happen if he really did "go for it". How amazing it would be if Jonny felt the same; how horrible it would be if he didn't.

Jonny was in his bed, and he appeared to be already asleep. Chris kept the light off just in case, but as he sat down on his own bed Jonny spoke.

"Chris? You're back? What'd he say?"

"Yeah, I'm back. And it was nothing, don't worry about it." Chris pulled the covers over himself and turned on his side so that he was facing Jonny. "Hey, Jonny, I want to tell you something..."

"Mm-hm?" Chris could tell that Jonny was only half awake. He was even sure that Jonny's eyes were still closed. Maybe he should just let him get some sleep, it had been a pretty rough day for the both of them.

"Um... never mind. I'll tell you tomorrow."

 

-

 

"Wakey, wakey, boys!" Retaw was standing in the doorway of Chris and Jonny's room with a tray of food in his hands. Both Chris and Jonny sat right up and looked over at him. "I brought some breakfast."

"Aw, thanks Retaw!" Chris now regretted ever thinking that he hated Retaw. He really was a nice guy.

"You're welcome, Chris Martin. Now, you two need to eat quickly and prepare yourselves for some massive training."

"Massive training?"

"Our world needs saving as soon as possible, Chris Martin. The quicker we can get you trained, the quicker we can return to living in peace."

"Oh. OK. Massive training it is then. Thanks again for the breakfast."

"It's no problem. Anything for our savior." Retaw set the tray down on Jonny's bed then returned to the doorway. "Enjoy your meal, boys!"

As Retaw left, Chris walked over to Jonny's bed and sat down at the end.

"Hey, Chris. Did you want to tell me something last night? I thought I heard you say you had something to tell me."

"Oh." Chris was unsure of what he wanted to do. On one hand, he really wanted Jonny to know, and he felt that Jonny deserved to know. On the other hand, the thought of telling him the truth was scary as hell. "Remember that blond girl? On the bus?"

"Yeah. She was fiiiiine! What about her?"

"Uh, just that I always thought she kinda looked like my aunt."

"Really? I have got to meet your aunt, then!"

"Hmm, I don't think you should."

"Why not?"

"She's afraid of clowns."

"... And?"

"I was calling you a clown. Complete fail, I see."

"Oh. Sorry, I guess I'm a bit clueless sometimes." Chris chuckled to himself as he continued eating his breakfast.

"Yeah, well, Cher, hurry up and finish eating so we can get this training thing over with."

After they ate, Chris placed the tray on the table beside Jonny's bed and they both went into the bathroom to get ready.

"I wonder how we'll have to save the world?" Jonny asked as he checked his hair in the mirror. After deciding that he couldn't do anything with it, he simply put his green cap on. Chris always got a kick out of that.

"That's a very good question. Maybe we should ask Retaw."

"Yeah, but he probably wouldn't tell us. Maybe we'll have to fight off, like, a billion evil monsters who surround their homeland or something. We'd definitely kill them good and dead." Chris turned to Jonny. Those brilliantly green eyes were really starting to get to him.

"You'll get them all, J, I'm sure. You won't even need me."

"Hells to the yeah!" Jonny smiled the cutest smile in existence. "But what can I say? That's just how great I am." Chris couldn't control himself any longer. He lunged forward, locking his lips with Jonny's.

It was like heaven, like paradise. Like being completely alone in a giant world made solely of chocolate. Chris was pretty sure that there were actually sparks flying between them. It seemed to last forever and ever. He didn't mind at all. In reality, though, the kiss only lasted a few seconds before Jonny pushed him away.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Chris was suddenly very frightened. Did he really just kiss Jonny? Did Jonny really just reject him? What should he do now? He could confess his love for him, but that didn't seem to be the best choice. He could pretend none of it happened. Yeah. Play it cool.

"What are you talking about?" Yeah, that'll fool him.

"You kissed me!"

"So? I've kissed you plenty of times before." Why was his voice getting so high-pitched? And his hands were sweating a lot, too. There was no way he could keep pretending for much longer, and he already knew that is wasn't working anyway.

"Yeah, but that was... different."

"I don't think it was." Stop lying! He's not fooled anyway.

"I think I should go." Jonny walked away from Chris and towards the door. This was Chris' last chance. If Jonny left now, he might never come back.

"I love you!... Jonny." Jonny turned and looked Chris in his stunning blue eyes.

"Sorry." He opened the door and left. Chris, heartbroken, walked backwards into the wall and slid down to the floor. That was it. Jonny was gone. He had ruined everything. Nothing left now. Chris was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.

"You stupid bastard! Why did you do that? Have some control over yourself once in a while! But it's too late now..."

 

-

 

"Take me home. Please?" Retaw had been filling out some paperwork that had been sitting in a large stack on his desk when Jonny burst in. He looked up at the unexpected visitor and was surprised to see that he appeared to be completely serious.

"Take you home? What is the problem, Jonathan?"

"Chris. He-"

"Ah, he told you."

"Told me? He kissed me!!" Jonny exclaimed. "Wait, you knew?"

"Have a seat, Jonathan." Retaw gestured to the unoccupied chair that sat across from him, and Jonny obediently sat down. "Even a blind man could see that the connection between Chris Martin and yourself is much stronger than most."

"I guess it kinda is..." Jonny mumbled.

"We can not take you home. I'm sorry, but you're in this for good now. You and Chris Martin are going to have to form a team and work together in order to help us, whether or not you like it. What is so wrong with all this anyway?"

"I don't know, Retaw. It's just a bit... overwhelming, I guess. I mean, one minute we're just having a laugh like we always do and the next thing I know he's making a move on me."

"Well, I believe that Chris Martin did the right thing. Keeping emotions bottled inside is not very healthy. And you should be happy that someone loves you. You may not agree with me, but I'd like you to do something for me now."

"Uh, sure. What is it?"

"Look at this situation from Chris Martin's point of view. How do you think he feels right now?"

"Um... probably not too good. I mean, I guess it can't be easy to tell someone how you feel and then have them run away and ask to go home." Retaw nodded and Jonny began to realize what Chris had probably just gone through, and was probably still going through. "Maybe... maybe I'm just overreacting... to this whole thing."

"Overreacting?"

"Yeah. Like, so what? My best friend is in love with me..." Jonny stared off blankly at the wall behind Retaw. Now he felt really horrible. Chris was only human, like he was. Being in love with your best friend had to be one of the toughest things to ever experience, especially when you're both dudes and he doesn't appear to feel the same way. "No... big... deal..."

"Hmm, I think your words are not adequately representing your emotions at this present moment, Jonathan. You know it's a big deal."

"Especially for Chris, yeah." Jonny looked at the papers on Retaw's desk, hoping to somehow find something that would help him make this situation easier. He didn't think there would be anything, but as he continued searching he realised that there was something sitting right in front of him that could help him. "Retaw? I need your help."

"With what, exactly?"

"Everything." Retaw laughed and nodded.

"You're going to need to be a little more specific than that, Jonathan."

"With Chris.... what do you think I should do?"

"Well, I would say talk to him. Tell him how you feel. However, it appears to me that you are unsure of what that is. Am I correct?"

"I know I feel horrible for the way I reacted."

"But you don't think that's good enough."

"No."

"Hmm, I think I know what we can do to help you make a decision." Retaw stood up and walked over to Jonny, pulling his arm in an attempt to get him to stand. "Come, let's go find a place for you to rest and think."

 

-

 

"Chris Martin? Are you OK?" Retaw was yelling to Chris through the door of the bathroom. It had been several days since Jonny left that bathroom, but Chris had stayed in there the entire time. "Please let me in."

"You can let yourself in, I can't get up."

"You can't get up?"

"I'm too tired. And depressed." Retaw opened the door and saw Chris laying on the floor up against the wall. He walked over to Chris and sat down beside him. Chris turned to Retaw. He looked horrible. His face looked thin and pale, and there were bags under his eyes, which were bloodshot and filled with tears, the stunning blue of his pupils now a dull grey. He looked as though he hadn't slept or eaten in days, mostly because he hadn't.

"Have you been here this whole time?"

"Yes."

"Jonathan came to talk to me, you know."

"He did?" There was a glimmer of hope in Chris' eyes. Unfortunately, in order to execute his plan, Retaw would have to rip that hope from him completely.

"He asked to be taken home."

"Oh." There it went. Chris returned to his depressed-looking state almost immediately. "Did you take him home?"

"We sent someone to take him, yes. I'm so sorry."

"I can't go on anymore."

"Yes, you can."

"No, I can't. I wish I could, really, but I don't have the strength anymore."

"You can go on, Chris Martin, believe me. I know something that will help you."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"Speak to him." Chris gave Retaw a funny look. "Speak to him, and he'll hear you."

"He'll hear me? Retaw, are you going mad or something? You just told me you took him home!"

"Believe me, Chris Martin. If you speak to him, he will hear you and you will feel better."

"Yeah, well, what am I supposed to say? That he was the only best friend I've ever had? That he was the only person I felt I could really talk to, and the only person I ever wanted to talk to when I was feeling really depressed? That he's an amazing man for putting up with all of my horrible mood swings? That sometimes I don't hear everything he's saying to me because I'm too busy staring at his brilliantly green eyes? That when he talks to me I always feel a million times better, no matter what other shit I'm going through? That when he laughs at something I've said my heart speeds up and shivers run down my back? That when... when he left... when he left..."

"Say it, Chris Martin."

"... Nothing matters anymore." Chris broke down completely, tears streaming down his face. He rested his head on his knees and continued crying as Retaw put his arm around his shoulders.

"There, there. Don't you feel better now?"

"No! ... well, maybe a little." Chris picked his head up and tried to calm down. "I guess... I guess I'll try to help you."

"Thank you, Chris Martin." Retaw stood up, but kept his hand on Chris' shoulder.

"It won't be easy for me."

"I understand completely. Now, stand up." Retaw grabbed Chris' arm and helped him get off of the ground. "It's time for your training." They walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway, where Chris saw something that caught his eye. A suitcase. He had seen it before... somewhere...

"Retaw... is that Jonny's suitcase?" Chris asked, pointing at the mysterious baggage.

"Oh my, I think it is. I told him to make sure that he had everything with him before he left. Tsk, tsk." Retaw shook his head. "I suppose we shall just have to send it to him later."

"Uh, right... do you mind if I hold on to it?"

"Now, Chris Martin, that's a little creepy, don't you think?"

"Hmm... yeah. Never mind. Let's get on with this training, yeah?" They continued walking down the hallway to the room where Chris would be trained.

"I must warn you, it is very vigorous training that you must be put through. You may have to take it easy for now, until you are better prepared."

"Oh, please, Retaw. I may look weak, but I am super strong physically. Trust me, I took a karate class once."

 

-

 

"Retaw, I don't want to do this anymore! I'm so tired." Chris collapsed onto the floor of the training room. He had been practicing for almost six hours straight, and his muscles were extremely sore.

"What about your karate class, hmm?"

"I lied, OK! I was supposed to take a karate class, but I... uh... well... wenttobestbuyandwatchedthehillsinstead."

"You what?"

"I went to Best Buy and watched The Hills instead! They were showing it on the display televisions and I just couldn't help myself. Aren't you glad you know how worthless I am now?" Despite the distraction that the six-hour training had provided, Chris still couldn't stop thinking about Jonny.

"Oh, Chris Martin, please don't start this again. You are not worthless. You are going to help save our world. Save our people from the horrors that have befallen us. Is that not worth enough for you?" Chris looked up at Retaw and sighed. "I suppose it isn't. But it is worth enough for me, and I ask you to please continue on, Chris Martin. We need you."

Chris rested on the ground for a few more moments. He couldn't believe he was being so selfish. Here he was, wallowing in self-pity and the apparent loss of his best friend, while an entire race of beings was in danger and in need of his help. He was needed, maybe not by Jonny, but by somebody. "I'm sorry, Retaw." He stood up and walked over to the punching bag in the center of the room. "I've been such a jerk lately."

"There's no need to be sorry, Chris Martin, it's quite all right."

"Good. Now let's train." For the next two hours Chris punched, cycled, ran, pushed-up, sat-up, pulled-up, and climbed as best as he could. He was already tired when they started, and when they were finished he felt like he was going to vomit and pass out. He almost did, actually.

"Chris Martin, are you OK?" Retaw asked when Chris began to stumble around the room, almost knocking into the wall.

"Uh... I feel a little dizzy..."

"Perhaps it is time to stop now. You've done enough for today. More than you needed to, in fact, so you are finished."

"Thank you."

"Come, let's get you some food, and then you shall be off to bed. You need all the energy you can get for tomorrow's training." Retaw brought Chris to the cafeteria, making sure the whole time that Chris didn't fall over and hurt himself. When they got to the cafeteria, Chris sat down at one of the tables while Retaw went to the kitchen in the back and got Chris some food. Having nothing better to do, he looked around at the nearly empty room. There were about ten other tables, each with four chairs, and there were a few garbage cans lined up against the wall. Sitting next to them was what looked like Jonny's jacket.

"What the hell? Is that Jonny's jacket?" Chris realized that Retaw hadn't returned yet, so he decided to investigate for himself. Feeling slightly less dizzy, he got up, walked over to the cans and picked up the jacket. It was Jonny's all right. Chris was beginning to get very suspicious. Jonny leaving anything behind was very unusual, especially when it was something so essential. Plus the fact that he left behind his suitcase as well. Then Chris grew concerned. What if something was wrong with Jonny that caused him to leave his possessions behind?

"Chris Martin! I have food for you!" Retaw placed a tray filled with all sorts of food on the table where Chris had been sitting. He then looked around the room in search of Chris. "Chris Martin?"

"I'm over here."

"Oh! I have food for you... what is that you're holding?"

"It's Jonny's jacket. He left it here." Chris returned to the table and sat down next to Retaw, throwing the jacket onto the table. "Is he OK?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is Jonny OK? Was he OK when you sent him home? He'd never forget his jacket and suitcase."

"I assure you, Chris Martin, Jonathan was perfectly fine. Now eat, please." Chris could tell that Retaw was trying to avoid talking about Jonny.

"Are you sure? Because if there is something wrong, I deserve to know. He still is my best friend."

"If there was something wrong with him, I would tell you, believe me. But there is nothing to talk about now because he is fine. Your friend is in good hands." Retaw grabbed a sandwich from the tray and handed it to Chris. "Now eat, please." Chris took the sandwich and started eating it. Food. It felt like it had been ages since he ate anything. Then he remembered that he hadn't eaten in days. Or slept. But then... how was he able to pull off eight hours of training?

"Retaw... is there something wrong with me?"

-

 

"Oh no, Retaw, I don't know if I'm ready for this!" Chris and Retaw were back in the training room again, but this time there was a giant obstacle course that Retaw had set up.

"You'll be fine, Chris Martin! You've been training very hard this past week, and you will be able to clear this course in no time."

"I don't really believe you, but OK. Well, here I go, I guess..." Chris started the obstacle course, running to the first cardboard cutout of an alien monster and then proceeding to punch it until it broke in half. He repeated this method three more times, then stopped.

"Why are you stopping, Chris Martin? You've only got four of the fifty!"

"FIFTY?!?!?! Retaw, I can't do this, I'm already tired!"

"That's because you're only punching them. Try some of the other moves you've been practicing!"

"Ugghhhhh! OK." Chris sighed, then ran over to the next cardboard cutout and kicked it. Surprised that it immediately broke in two, he sprinted to the following one and kicked it. After about ten minutes, he'd gone through all fifty of the cardboard alien monsters. Once he was finished, he went back to the start where Retaw was standing. "How'd I do?"

"Not bad. You finished in thirteen minutes."

"All right!"

"Yes, but I must warn you that these are merely cardboard cutouts. The real things will be much more difficult to defeat."

"Yeah, but with more training I should be able to kick their asses, right?"

"That's the spirit! I'm so glad that you are finally in a good and happy mood again, Chris Martin! You certainly deserve it."

"Yeah, well, I still wish Jonny was here. This whole thing would be a lot easier with his help."

"It would be," Retaw agreed, nodding his head. "Unfortunately, he is not here right now, so you must do this on your own. Now, try again, and this time try to beat ten minutes!"

Chris completed the obstacle course a second time, finishing in just under nine minutes. Retaw told him that he was dismissed for the rest of the day. Chris thanked him and then went back to his room, first stopping at the cafeteria to grab some dinner. Retaw, on the other hand, went to a room located on the floor above the training room to visit a certain passenger on the spaceship.

"Retaw! Hey, how's it going? Is Chris doing all right training by himself?"

"Yes, Jonathan, he has shown a great improvement over the past few days. His skills are not yet at the high level that yours are, but he is getting there. I suspect that in another few days he will be just as good as you are. Although, by then you might be even better."

"Is that even possible?" Jonny laughed.

"Improvement is always possible, Jonathan. Which reminds me, Chris is finished with his training for the day, so now it is your turn. I've set up the cardboard cutouts for him, but if you like you can try something a bit harder."

"Uh, I think I'm good with the cardboard for today. I'm kinda tired. Plus, I don't want you to have to go through the trouble of changing them."

"Nonsense, it would only take a few minutes. But if you insist on the cardboard, I will not argue with you."

"Do you think we should tell Chris that I didn't leave?"

"That depends. Have you made your decision yet?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Is it positive or negative?"

"Well... you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"

"I don't know, Jonathan. What if the suspense kills me?"

"Then you won't be around to see, I guess. If there's some sort of afterlife you can find out from there."

"And if there isn't?"

"Then you're screwed." Jonny stood up and walked over to Retaw, who was standing in the doorway of the room Jonny was staying in. "Come on, I'm ready to go train now."

"As you wish." Retaw and Jonny left the room and headed towards the elevator to go to the floor below.

"I'm thinking tomorrow we tell Chris?"

"Tomorrow sounds all right to me."

"Actually, we shouldn't tell him anything. But, um, I'll let him know... uh, 'somehow'..."

 

-

 

"Then he tried to take my chocolate pudding! And you know how I get when people try to take chocolate away from me. I mean, I had to give it to him because he was huge and scary, but still." Chris was lying on his bed in the dark, staring at the ceiling and describing the details of his day. "So, how was your day?" He turned his head to face the empty bed next to his. Chris had talked to Jonny every night since he had left, even though he knew he wouldn't get a response.

He stared at the nonexistent Jonny for a few minutes, then decided that it was time to sleep. He sighed and turned to face the wall, then closed his eyes and fell asleep.

It was the same dream he'd had for the past week. He and Jonny were the only two people on this extremely long stretch of highway- Chris on one side, Jonny on the other. Chris tried to walk over to Jonny, but as soon as he did a sudden mass of cars drove in between them. Eventually Chris would give up, and the cars would disappear. Then he would try again, only to be blocked. He'd never reach Jonny, and he knew it, yet he couldn't stop the dream. He couldn't stop trying to get to Jonny.

Chris woke up to the sound of someone knocking very loudly on his door. He got out of bed and opened the door to see some alien worker.

"Hello, Mr. Martin. Um, I'm sorry to bother you, but Retaw told me to inform you that you can have the day off because you've been working extra hard."

"Oh, OK. Well, thanks."

"No problem. Enjoy your day!"

"Yeah, you too." The alien worker left, and Chris stood in his doorway for a little while. He was up now, and although he was still tired he didn't want to go back to sleep and have that dream again. He finally decided that today might be a good day to explore the spaceship. He walked to the elevator and pressed the button. While waiting, he thought he saw a tall, green-capped man walking around the corner nearby, but he decided that it must have been his imagination.

The elevator opened and Chris walked inside. He looked at all the buttons on the wall of the elevator, trying to decide which floor to start with. For some reason he couldn't explain, he chose to start with the top floor. It just seemed like the right choice. When the elevator reached the floor, Chris walked out into the empty hallway. He had no idea where to go from here. The spaceship was completely unfamiliar to him, apart from the floor where his room was. He wasn't even sure how big the spaceship was.

He wandered down the hallway and saw a door that was slightly open. He could see a light coming from the room. A light that looked as though it was coming from a television. Then he heard a woman's voice. It sounded so familiar. Where had he heard it before?

"Homeboy wore combat boots to the beach. I know you don't want to call that your boyfriend. I know you don't," the woman said. Chris still couldn't figure out where he knew the voice from. He walked into the room and saw an alien worker sitting, surely enough, in front of a television set... watching The Hills.

"Of course! How could I be so stupid?" Chris' outburst startled the alien, who had been so wrapped up in watching the show that he hadn't even noticed Chris had entered the room.

"Oh my! When did you get here?"

"About two seconds ago."

"Who... wait... are you Chris Martin? The one who will save us?"

"Um, yeah. So, why are you watching The Hills?"

"Retaw commanded me to study this show. He said you had a strange fascination with it."

"Yeah, it's my favorite show. See that girl right there?" Chris pointed to the screen. "That's Heidi. She's my favorite."

"Really? She doesn't appear to be very intelligent. Actually, none of them do."

"Well, no, they're not very intelligent. But that's what makes it so great, you know? You can watch this and think 'Wow, there really are people who are dumber than I am'. It makes me feel smart. But so does brushing my teeth, so what do I know, right?"

"Would you care to join me? I think watching this show might be more tolerable if I have someone here to watch with me."

"Yeah, absolutely!" Chris sat down next to the alien worker and stared at the television set. They must have watched about a dozen episodes, because by the time they were finished it was dinner time. Chris was starting to feel very hungry, so he went down to the cafeteria to eat. He stood in the line for about ten minutes before being able to order. When he finally did order, they were out of almost everything he had wanted, except the one thing that he wanted most- chocolate pudding.

There was only one cup of chocolate pudding left, so Chris ran towards it and grabbed it before anyone else even had a chance to look at it. He picked up the tray with the rest of his food on it, and walked over to the condiment table. He grabbed the ketchup and poured it all over the chicken he had on his tray so that the chicken itself was hardly visible. Then he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Listen, if you want my pudding, you're gon-" He turned around, and Jonny pressed his lips against Chris'.

"Hmm... I guess that wasn't so bad," Jonny said, smiling.

"Jonny! You're back! You came back!" Chris threw himself at Jonny, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. Jonny hugged him back, resting his hands on Chris' lower back.

"Actually, I never left."

"What?" Chris slightly pulled away from Jonny, but he kept his arms resting on his shoulders.

"I was here the whole time."

"But Retaw told me... how could you do that to me?"

"I wish I hadn't needed to, but Retaw thought that it would be a good idea for me to watch you 'from afar' while you... uh, broke down, I guess. I'm sorry!" Jonny could see the pain in Chris' eyes. "But the thing is, it worked!"

"It did?"

"Yeah. I guess it's... well, I mean, I was a bit freaked out at first, I think mostly because I didn't see it coming at all. It was... strange and weird, you know? But then I realised how much I hurt you, and how much you didn't deserve it. And I've heard everything you've said, you know. When you were in the bathroom with Retaw, I heard that. And all those nights you asked me how my day was. You're so sweet, Chris. And I'm sorry that I couldn't see it before." Chris stared into Jonny's brilliantly green eyes, completely speechless.

"Jonny, I..."

"Yeah, I love you too." Chris smiled, and tears began rolling down his face. For the first time, however, they were tears of happiness.

"Oh, God, now I'm turning into a woman," Chris laughed as he wiped his cheeks dry.

"Well, I am more into women than men, you know. So it can't be all bad."

"Oh, OK. Well as long as you like it. Hey, whaddya say we go eat now?"

"Hells to the yeah! I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything all day, I was so busy talking to Retaw." Chris and Jonny walked towards the nearest empty table.

"What were you talking about?"

"Uh, you."

"Oh... I was watching The Hills."

"Oh, Chris," Jonny said, rolling his eyes. "We never change, do we?"

 

-

 

"Whoa, baby! Break me off a piece of THAT!" Jonny was stationed in front of the bathroom mirror, shirtless, washing his face when Chris walked in.

"Excuse you?"

"You heard me!" Chris replied, a big grin on his face.

"Yeah, I did. Cheeky. Come here!" Chris cautiously walked forward. Jonny dipped his hand in the water that filled the sink, and splashed Chris in the face.

"Hey, you bastard!" Chris wiped off his nose and eyes, and Jonny grabbed his arm, pulled him closer and kissed him. He then quickly licked the side of his own lips.

"Ew, did you just lick your lips?"

"Mayyybeee..."

"Ugh! You call me cheeky?"

"Mm-hmm. It's 'cause you are." Chris put his hand on Jonny's chest in an attempt to playfully shove him, but he was too weak, so his hand just rested there. "Chris..."

"...Jonny." The two locked their brilliantly stunning green and blue eyes and just stared at each other for a bit.

"Do you-" Jonny started, but was cut off by an unexpected visitor.

"Boys, it's time to go." Chris turned around to see Retaw standing a few feet away from them.

"Time to go where?"

"It's time to go save our world."

"What? But we're not even done with training!"

"The training you've had so far will have to suffice. The invasion has worsened and the revolution is beginning."

"What invasion? What revolution?"

"Yeah, you never actually told us what was going on."

"There's no time to discuss it now, we'll talk on the way there. But you two need to arm yourselves now, so follow me. Well, perhaps you should put on a shirt first, Jonathan."

After Jonny put on his shirt, the three made their way to the armory. It was a rather large room, with shelves upon shelves of alien machinery. Retaw led Chris and Jonny to one of the shelves in the back of the room. There he gave them each what looked like a regular backpack. Inside, however, was a mass of weapons ranging from laser guns to jars filled with some sort of orange goo.

"Please be careful with these, they're extremely dangerous. I assume you both know how to work the different guns, and those jars are only to be used in a case of extreme emergency."

"Extreme emergency? Like what?" Chris was beginning to panic.

"Like if you're both within seconds of death."

"Pleasant."

"Trust me, Jonathan, nothing in our world right now is pleasant. Come, it's time to leave." They left the armory and ascended a few floors in the elevator. They reached the top floor and walked down several hallways before arriving at their destination. Retaw took out a set of keys and unlocked the door that was in front of them. He opened the door and let Chris and Jonny enter first, then walked in behind them and closed the door.

The room only had one wall; the rest was a domed glass window. In the middle of the room was a small spacecraft. Looking out the glass, the distant outline of a planet was visible. Jonny walked over to the giant window and stared at the planet.

"Is that it?"

"That's our home, yes. Or it used to be."

"What happened, Retaw?"

"A lot. I'll tell you, but first we must board the ship." Retaw opened the door of the spacecraft and got in, then Chris got in, followed by Jonny. When they were all in there, the spacecraft was slightly crammed.

"I apologize for the lack or room in here, but this was the best we could do on such short notice."

"It's fine, Retaw." Chris and Jonny were pushed up right against each other, but neither of them minded at all. "Will you tell us what happened now?"

"Yes. It started many months ago. Our planet was always a peaceful place, where everyone either liked or was indifferent to everyone else. But there was a tiny problem. We controlled the most important substance in the galaxy- slobett. There are some races in existence who need slobett just to survive. As a result, we became a largely popular planet. Many others became jealous of our success. One day we were attacked. My, um..."

"Your what?"

"My brother was killed."

"Oh, man, Retaw. I'm so sorry."

"It was a tragedy, definitely. He had his whole life ahead of him. But nevertheless, he was killed by the invaders. We tried hard to fight them, but eventually we were overpowered. They completely took over our planet, and nearly destroyed it. A small group of those on our side and I searched for something that would help us. That's when we discovered the prophecy. It told us that you would be our only hope, Chris Martin."

"Oh, way to put a bunch of pressure on me."

"Don't worry, Chris Martin, you'll do fine. If the prophecy said you'll save us, then you will save us in the end. I have faith in you."

"Thanks, but that doesn't really take any of the pressure off."

"Relax, mate. I'm here to help you, too. We'll get 'em together." Chris smiled as Jonny grabbed his hand.

"Sounds good. Hey, Retaw, how long is the ride there gonna take?"

"We should be there in about ten hours, your Earth-time."

"Well, in that case, I think I'm gonna take a nap."

 

-

 

"This is it, boys, this is war." Chris, Jonny, and Retaw were standing outside of the spacecraft, having just landed minutes before. They looked out at the desolate planet. The ground was nothing more than dirt and dead bodies, and even the sky was a morbid dark brownish color. In the distance was a building. It was cracked and old, and the front of it looked like it had been blown up at least once.

"What happened to that building?"

"It was our government headquarters...the first thing the invaders destroyed. Now it belongs to them. They keep all of their supplies and men there."

"So... that's where we're headed, then?"

"Precisely. But we can't just run up there and hope we get them. There are too many of them compared to us right now. Therefore, we must gather the others first."

"Others?"

"The revolutionaries. They already knew that we were coming, all we have to do is inform them that we are here."

"Well, then why don't you?"

"Patience, Jonathan, patience." Retaw closed his eyes and stood in concentration for a minute. Despite Retaw's advice, Jonny's impatient nature was getting the best of him.

"Are we seriously gonna just stand here and-" Suddenly, a dull rumble shook the ground. Jonny and Chris turned to see a colossal group of alien revolutionaries heading their way. There must have been almost three hundred of them, and they were all carrying backpacks similar to those that Jonny and Chris had.

"Wow, that's a lot of aliens."

"That's nothing, Chris Martin. You should have seen our army when we first began. Plus, we're going to be fighting an equal number of opponents." The aliens stopped feet away from the spacecraft and prepared themselves to fight. "All right, everyone. This is Chris Martin... our hero."

"Here comes that pressure again."

"We must help him as best as we can. Remember, we need his help, but he can't do this on his own. Now, I can see that Jonathan here is ready to go," Retaw said, noticing that Jonny was now practically bouncing up and down, "so... we may as well start. Ready? ... CHARGE!"

Every single one of them, man and alien, stormed up to the building. Several of the invaders noticed their arrival and one of them went inside the building to fetch backup. The revolutionaries ran in front of Chris and Jonny, fighting off the invaders in order to allow a path for them to enter the building. By the time they made it in, several of the revolutionaries and invaders had been taken down. It was already apparent that the battle was going to be a long and bloody one.

Chris, Jonny, and Retaw ran through the open door of the building and into the empty foyer. They looked around for invaders, but none seemed to be around. Chris walked towards the middle of room, expecting a bunch of them to pop out and attack him. However, nothing happened when he walked into the center.

"Where are they? Should we be getting our asses kicked by now?" As soon as he spoke, an alien invader jumped from the ceiling onto his back. Chris shook the alien off, but it kept attacking him. It knocked him to the ground, then tried kicking him, but Chris grabbed his leg and tripped him. They both got back up and started hitting each other. Despite Chris' seeming success, Jonny decided that letting him fight an alien with only his fists wasn't a good idea, so he shot the alien with his laser gun, instantly killing it. One down, two hundred ninety-nine to go.

"Use your backpack once in a while, Martin!"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that."

"Chris, look!" Chris turned around. Retaw was up against a giant alien invader almost five times his size. The invader was carrying what looked like a meat cleaver.

"I'll take him, you two go on."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry, I can handle it. It's up to you now, Chris Martin. Go on and defeat the enemy."

"Yeah, easier said than done! ... Probably."

 

-

 

"I'm starting to think this is gonna be harder than we thought." Chris and Jonny were almost three-quarters of the way through the building. They'd fought off almost a hundred of the aliens by themselves alone, but there were still plenty left.

Walking down the final hallway, Chris and Jonny spotted a small group of the invaders. Luckily for the two, the aliens were all facing the opposite way. Being careful not to make too much noise, they both took out their guns and shot a bunch of rays at the unsuspecting group. They climbed over the lifeless bodies as they made their way out the back exit of the building and into a large field. All of the remaining aliens appeared to be in the field, all purposefully fighting each other.

"Wow, that's a lot," Jonny noted as he walked out, his eyes scanning the extraordinary battleground.

"Yeah. When are we ever gonna get rid of them?"

"Maybe never. Who knows?" Chris turned and saw a group of three invaders creeping up on Jonny. One of them was dangerously close to attacking. Chris ran, panicking out of his mind, to save Jonny.

"Get away from my Jonnyboy, you **** waffle!" He gathered his strength and struck the alien as hard as he could. It collapsed, its limp body hitting the ground within seconds. Unfortunately, one of the other aliens also had his eye on Jonny. A ray of yellow light traveled from the alien's gun to Jonny's stomach. Clutching his abdomen, he let out an agonizing scream.

"Jonny!"

"I'm fine, Chris, just keep going! I'll be fine!" Jonny shouted back, falling to the ground. Chris wanted to guard his wounded lover, but the distant screams of the dying alien revolutionaries reminded him that he needed to continue on.

"I'll come back!"

"I'll be here. Just go!" Chris ran forward into a nearby group of a dozen alien invaders. They began throwing punches, and Chris did a spin attack with his gun and shot about three of them. The rest advanced forward and continued to hit Chris. He was starting to get beaten badly now. Maybe the prophecy was wrong. He felt like he was dying. Maybe what Retaw said... what Retaw said... dying... Didn't Retaw say something about dying?... Dying... emergency? Emergency...

"The jar!" Chris pulled the jar of orange goo out of his backpack. He wasn't really sure what to do with it, but he figured he may as well start by opening it. He pulled the lid off, and a strong odor emitted from the bottle. "Oh, that's nasty!"

Chris plugged his nose and put the lid back on the jar. He threw it towards the invaders. It hit the ground, shattered into a million pieces and released the orange goo onto the ground. The aliens closest to the jar fell first, followed by the others. Chris nearly breathed a sigh of relief, then he saw that more of the invaders were on their way.

"Ugh, this is one of those times where I could really use some help."

 

-

 

"I'm here, Chris Martin!" Retaw popped up next to Chris, who had just fought off about a dozen invaders. His face and arms were covered in scratches and cuts, but he appeared to be quite upbeat and energetic.

"Retaw, you made it!"

"Barely. But yes, I'm here now. And with good news! There are only a few more of them left, and the revolutionaries are fighting them as we speak!"

"...Jonny's been hit."

"Oh my... where is he?"

"He's over there." Chris gestured in the direction that Jonny was in, and Retaw immediately ran to find him. An expression of immense concern and fear writhed its way onto Chris' face, and an alien of immense mass and frightfulness writhed its way into Chris' view. His outfit was clean and professional-looking, and it told Chris that this was definitely someone of importance. He was the leader of the invaders, and he was holding a massive laser gun in his right hand.

"Aw, what's wrong? Upset about your little friend?" Behind the alien, Chris could see Retaw tending to the wounded Jonny. Jonny was now completely lying on the ground, and looking paler than ever. Chris, deeply worried about Jonny's being, stood frozen long enough for the monster to attack him in the leg. He fell to the ground, agonizing in pain, but immediately stood back up despite a huge gash in his right thigh. As he stood up, the monster picked up his gun, pointing it at Chris' chest.

"You think... that you can just take happiness away from everyone else, just because you don't have it? Huh? Is that what you think?" Chris shouted at the alien leader.

"Are you speaking to me now? Filthy scum! I know your human type." The alien lowered the gun and pointed a large finger at Chris. "You think that everything should be just and fair. It shouldn't. The strong should prevail over the weak. Always."

"How do you judge strength? Physically, or mentally? By the looks of you, probably physically."

"What is that supposed to mean?" The monster raised the gun again.

"It's supposed to mean that you're a big, scary alien monster with a gun pointed at me, but if you didn't have that gun and I called you a girl you'd run off and cry. Or try to beat me up. But the point is, you couldn't handle it."

"I think I could."

"Wanna bet? Here, give me the gun."

"What do you think I am, stupid?"

"I was hoping."

"That's enough from you!" The monster put his finger on the trigger of the gun, but something struck him from behind, knocking the gun out of his hands. Retaw. Chris picked up the gun and aimed it at the alien's neck.

"Listen, this is your last chance. You can surrender now, and live, or you can lay here and die. It's your choice."

"I'd rather die than listen to you... filthy scum!"

"Have it your way, then." Chris pulled the trigger, shooting the alien with a ray of bright yellow light. His body fell to the ground, and though he was still alive the revolutionaries in the surrounding area began to cheer.

"Well done, Chris Martin!"

"Yeah, thanks." He looked over at the alien leader, who was now motionless. With the last enemy finally defeated, Chris threw the gun off to the side and ran to Jonny, who was still lying on the ground. "Jonny!"

"Chris... Chris, I have something I want to say to you..." Jonny tried to sit up, but he didn't have the strength to.

"Stay down, it's OK."

"I just want to let you know... that I really do love you..." Jonny was now gasping for air, and growing increasingly tired. "You're the best... friend I've ever had... Thank you... for everything..." Still struggling to breathe, Jonny used the last of his remaining strength to reach out and grab Chris' hand before slowly closing his eyes.

"Jonny..."

 

-

 

"Are we almost there, yet? I like seeing, you know." Chris was sat, blindfolded, in the passenger seat of Jonny's car. They were driving to have lunch at some secret location that Jonny didn't want Chris to know about.

"Almost. Just wait a few more minutes."

"I don't see why you had to blindfold me, it's not like I can't just take it off."

"Yeah, but you've been sitting like that for half an hour. If you really wanted to, you'd have taken it off already."

"Hmm, good point." A few minutes passed by, and suddenly the car stopped.

"OK, you can take it off now. Um, the blindfold, I mean." Chris laughed as he pulled the blindfold off.

"I know what you meant, silly. Whoa..." They were parked on the side of the road, in front of a beautiful park Chris had never seen before. Dozens of trees lined the horizon, and there was a fountain of a man and woman in the center. They both got out of the car, and Jonny opened the trunk to get a basket out as Chris stood against the side of the car, stunned and trying to absorb the magnificent sight in front of him.

"Happy one-year, love!" Jonny said as he walked towards Chris.

"Aw, J! You are... amazing, d'you know that?"

"Well, I try. Come on, I've got another surprise for you." Jonny grabbed Chris' arm and led him to a spot near the fountain. He laid down a blanket and they both sat, admiring the beauty that surrounded them.

"It's so beautiful here."

"I know," Jonny replied, staring at Chris. "Um, do you want to eat now? I made sandwiches."

"Yeah, OK." Jonny reached in the basket and pulled out two sandwiches. They sat on the blanket, eating and chatting about basically nothing for twenty minutes. At one point their conversation even included an in-depth analysis of The Spongebob Movie. Eventually they both ended up silently staring at the billowing clouds that were formed in the gorgeous blue sky.

"Do you ever think about life?" Jonny asked, breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do you ever just sit and think about all the things that can happen to a person in one lifetime?"

"Um, I guess so... kinda?"

"Well, take us, for example. Like, we've been through so much together. I mean, we've been best friends for how long now?"

"Ten years."

"Exactly! And look at what we've gone through in the last year alone! Aliens, and spaceships, and..."

"...You almost died..."

"Yeah. And I know that was really hard on you. But I made it through just fine. We made it through just fine. And I have confidence that... hold on, let me get something first." Chris stared off at the fountain while Jonny rummaged through the basket. The man and woman looked so happy together. Very peaceful. He wondered if he and Jonny looked like that. They probably did. Then it suddenly hit him- how had he not noticed that before? The fountain... that man was proposing...

"Oh! Here it is!" Chris turned to Jonny. Sure enough, Jonny was holding a ring. "Um... where was I before?"

"Dunno," Chris mumbled absentmindedly, his gaze fixed on the ring.

"Oh... oh, right! I have confidence that... we can make it through anything together. Yeah? So... I know we're both guys, and it's a little weird, but... it is legal now, so it's all good, right?" Jonny chuckled, but Chris just continued staring. "...Chris?"

Chris moved his stunning blue eyes up and looked at Jonny. He grinned as his eyes met Jonny's.

"Is that a 'yes'?" Jonny grinned back.

"Yeah." Jonny squealed and hugged Chris.

"Oh my God, I can't believe I just squealed."

"Well, at least you stopped saying 'hells to the yeah'," Chris laughed.

"Yeah, I guess that's a plus." Jonny and Chris remained in a tight embrace, and may have stayed like that forever, had there not been a huge crash somewhere in the field.

"Why are there always crashes around us?" Chris looked around to see where the interruption had come from. He scanned the field, and saw what looked like a giant wooden box about fifty yards away from their picnic. "Oh, shit."


	2. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ending doesn't exist if you intend to read the sequel. :P

"I had another one of those dreams again..."

"Oh, Chris. Not the one where-"

"Where Jonny's alive. And he proposed to me in the last one." Chris was on the phone with his psychiatrist. He'd been seeing the psychiatrist at least three times a week since his return to Earth. Although it had been a year, the sessions didn't help to fix the gaping hole in Chris' life.

"You need to get over this. I know it's very sad, and he meant a lot to you, but Jonny is in a better place now, and he'd want you to live your life to the fullest."

"I just want it to end."

"If you try to get over his death, you will. Maybe not completely, but the hurt will begin to fade if you go out and live a little. Go out to a club tonight and socialize a bit. You don't have to replace him, Chris. You just need to realize that there's more out there for you to experience."

"I just want it to end. All of it."

"... Chris? Where are you?"

"I'm at home."

"Stay there. I'll be over in about five minutes."

"I'm on the roof."

"Oh, God. Chris, please don't do anything. I'm coming over right now, and we can talk this through, OK? Just stay right there." Chris hung up the phone and tossed it to his right. He stood up and looked over the edge of the building. It was a long way down, but it looked promising. The end to his misery. And he could finally be with Jonny again. He climbed the small step that edged the roof, closed his eyes, and stepped forward.

He could finally be with Jonny again.


End file.
